The only CON going on here is that I can’t get my money back.
Hiding behind copious amounts of cover. Shooting from that cover. Explosions. Reloading. Alien killing.
Sounds like Gears Of War, right? Wrong, according to the the guys at Firaxis Games, published by the guys at 2K Games. It’s XCOM: Enemy Unknown, an obvious copy of Epic Games’ masterpiece.
The only thing that sets XCOM slightly apart is the turn-based nature of the combat system. Instead of gleefully stomping around a colorless linear corridor, movement is done by selecting areas on a grid and waiting for enemies to drop in sight. Why can’t we just shoot them in a third or first person aiming view?
Those horrible design choices make for a dull experience. Most of the gameplay is spent carefully inching your way up the war-torn, big-eyed alien filled areas as you sometimes roadie run to the next spot. Of course, doing so allows them to shoot at you while you can’t shoot back. That’s not strategic. Yelling at the 14-year-old co-op buddy who randomly joined your GOW3 match to lay down inaccurate suppressing fire is strategic.
Don’t bother getting attached to your bulky, Cole Train-looking soldiers. There’s no respawn, so when one of your characters dies, they die for real. If I wanted real life dying, I’d shoot myself in the face. That’s not fun. Neither is this game.
Outside of the fighting, things get even more yawn-inducing. You get to upgrade your characters for shit they should already have. A scope? That comes with nearly every weapon in the Call Of Duty games. Are you telling me these guys can’t make scopes in the future, but in modern combat, it’s everywhere?
Different countries beg you to save them, but most are useless since they wuss out of the project anyway. If a country gets too panicked, they withdrawn funding from the project that’s saving their ass. Oh man, aliens are zombifying our people, what should we do? I dunno, maybe, not support the people enduring the most boring combat since every RPG game ever?
Easily the worst game ever made on the PC that kinda looks like GOW.
Satirical, etc. If you don’t buy this game, I’ll lop off your vital reproductive organs.