Four Things Capcom Has Done Right In This Generation

You complainers are just being entitled. 

Mention the dreadful name of Capcom on any forum, and you’ll get responses filled with hatred and collective bitterness. Those who enjoy the fine works of the company are shunned and banned for life. Even the official community website isn’t unscathed.

Ungrateful gamers forget the wonderful additions Capcom has not only given us, but will provide soon.

1. Lost Planet 3

Despite a very small cult following, the last two LP games were met with negative critical reception. The 2nd game was filled with semi-confusing controls, fun, and co-op. Thankfully, the sequel plans to throw all those things out the window, and replace it with QTEs and a reskin of Dead Space in snow and towering robots.

Originality is key in a stagnating industry!

2. Street Fighter x Tekken DLC

Remember unlocking new characters in fighting games? Yeah, me too, until they started shunning the ridiculous requirements in favor of just having them available from the get go. Some of us like fighting the AI all day, thanks.

Our boys at Capcom heard our cries, and decided to lock off a portion of the cast for $20 bucks. Thanks to the difficult challenge of paying money for things that should already be available for consumers, I felt the nostalgia rush of seeing new cast members show up on the select screen. Just like in the arcades.

3. DmC

Old Dante was cheesy, boring, and tried too hard. New Dante is a mix of edgy, smoking, and probably fedoras. DmC plans to flip the genre upside down with set pieces and awesome, 30 FPS mashy combat.

4. Killing Megaman

Let’s face facts. Megaman never brought anyone real joy. It’s all about memorization.

So Capcom’s move to murder the franchise before our very eyes was a good thing. Now, there’s room for games like Resident Evil 6 and World Gone Sour. Joy.

This article is satirical, so please don’t rev up those keyboards in anger.